Think I'm going to start making this a regular. During my everyday life I begin to write little letters to Korea : love letters, poison pens, hate letters and little memos of the things that make me laugh. I suppose it's because I'm surrounded by a foreign language I don't understand daily that I become quite insular when on my own and note the things I see and think in my head. I will write them down now so I can record them on my blog. This way it will seem like I'm not talking to myself in my head but merely thinking of things to put up here.
I put one on my facebook status once, other English teachers cracked up, I guess some things are just universal over here. It went:
Dear Korean colleagues,I can tell you are discussing me because you look at me while you are doing it. Remember stealth at all times.
Here's just a few recent ones ~
Dear Korean grocery store owners, yes your basket of radishes were in the way of the apartment building entrance today. Thank you for moving them AFTER I squeezed past them.
Dear Korean student, your email made me smile after some lonely few days. Thank you ~ "You always teaching us with beautiful smile and bright eyes.You treat us very nice and well and you always prepared lessons carefully.I really love your class since you first taught us ^^" PS. I don't even mind that it is occasionally grammatically incorrect.
I went to the Hwa Gye Sa temple, in northern Seoul with a couple of friends from the EPIK-SMOE (English Program in Korea - Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education) orientation. It was an odd experience, meditating at 3am is strange to say the least. I can see how Buddhists become zen when dedicated, early morning meditation coupled with the chanting from the ceremony downstairs did create a funny sensation. Although fighting the impending sleep was my main object. Not to mention for 45 minutes I had McFly then Tom Jones 'It's not unusual' stuck in my head like some zenradio in my brain. While meditating we were meant to be pondering the question below, to be honest I never found the answer ... I couldn't fully understand the question. Enlightenment is beyond me I feel.
Hwa Du: "Mount Sumeru"
A student asked the venerable Master Yun-Men (d.949);
Not even a thought has arien, is there still sin or not?
Master said;
Mount Sumeru!
When thought arises, sinn also arises. If no thought arises, there should be no kind of sin or erro. But why did the Master say that sin, that is, error, is as big as Mount Sumeru?
After 3am meditation, 108 bows to Buddha (this was the week following my continual back pain so I opted out of this and watched), a chanting ceremony came outdoors work - we paid £15 and managed to get roped in having some head monks watch us sweep the grounds! We grumbled a bit but I quite liked being outside after a few hours sitting on the ground. Plus I got to talk for a bit to Simi who is really cool, and we had a chat with the head monk who used to live in America and was quite an odd chap for a zen master. He serenaded us with some Bob Marley and The Eagles before telling Kara that "American women are stronger than any man!"
We had a lot more personal time than I expected, for example we spent some time in a street festival that was going on down the road. In fact, after being photographer several times as the typical foreigners enjoying Korean festival pictures, a few of us were persuaded to get on stage and dance with the singer. It was hilarious and great fun, some ahjumma really got into as well and jumped up on stage after we finished and stole the microphone from the singer lol. Later on that day some of us went on a contraband journey where we stocked up on cookies, chocolate and soft drinks in order to supplement the temple food.
At 7.30am in the morning I found myself climbing a mountain for some outdoor meditation, which turned into most of the girls sleeping and talking :) Have to admit found the climb a bit arduous, one bit was partiuclarly steep and I found myself in trouble until this short quiet little girl monk pulled me up. Not kidding she was half the size of me but I reckon she could have made it up there with me on her back! The sweaty rice fueled hike was kind of worth it though. I loved the biew and the endorphin filled triumphant feeling you get when you exercise and finally finish!
Our weekend retreat was over and done with by 11pm on Sunday! Myself and some of the girls decided to celebrate our freedom and the ability to eat nice food again by heading to KFC. Lovely!
I had the best halloween ever. I got to spend it with my nieces, my sisters, and not to mention I got to put on red lipstick! It was so much fun. . .only sad part was that the hubs had to work =(. Oh well, we have next year. Here are some pix.
The above is my personal philosophy. That, and have no regrets. Have no regrets whilst drinking the tea. So here is mine, and every English person's personal nightmare, particularly when away from home.
And now here's the saving grace...
An unopen box of Yorkshire Tea, a little bashed from travelling in my suitcase. I love youuuuu Yorkshire teeeea.
provide me with hours of fun. Here's some of the best.
Compliant and trusting man, 43, WLTM F to 45 who doesn’t insist on using the chemical names for obscure proteins as the safety word. Stoke-on-Trent.
A graveyard in the dead of night. A spade. A curse. Then we turn the sods. Just a sneak peak into some of my dating habits, but we could start with dinner and a movie (something from the Dario Argento canon perhaps?) Ghoulish M, 57.
As a frequent attendee at LRB Bookshop events, I spend most of my time wrestling with my own internal monologue jokes and summoning up the courage to articulate these before an audience. Naturally, by the time my anxieties have subsided, the shop has emptied and I’m once again alone. My sexual experiences mirror this. Let’s hang out! M, 43.
Sulky M, 68, seeks acquiescent wife or punctual urologist. Preferably one in the same. No perverts/slackers.
Literary lads of the LRB! Know a girl who keeps in touch with all of her ex’s? Says she gets along with men better than women? Laughs about keeping up with their drinking? Recommends white beer with salmon rather than pinot noir? Well forget about her, she’s a manipulative, cackling lush who’s hated by female colleagues and the morose clutch of resigned eunuchs orbiting her Hoegaarden. Instead, date me. Post ironic, post feminist who enjoys informed conversation, gender theory and ranking the ladette phenomenon alongside the Britisches Freikorps in retrospectives of the 20th century.
History doesn’t relate the incident, but I won bronze for Festooning during the 1972 Olympics in Quebec. After that I moved to Brighton. Dizzy F, 59.
My hobbies include leaving trails of crayons wherever Noam Chomsky gives a public lecture. To date I have placed 3,785 crayons across the globe and raised more than $7 for charity. Beat that, fems to 55 with independent incomes and easy access to therapy.
I hate bad dreams, especially the ones with the giant tennis players. Man, 41. Do you have bad dreams? Do they have giant tennis players? My sympathies.
Having an average score of 6.8 on the Slavoj iek scale of sexual magnetism (still regarded by scientists as the most accurate measure of human attractiveness), I have never had to place a personal ad. However, if I were to write one it would reference the colour green, a refusal to acknowledge the existence of gravity, and a firm belief in the theory that cuddling can solve all arguments except ones about carpets. M, 38.
I passed up an opportunity to attend the 2009 International Biscuit Convention in Warsaw to write this ad. And I really like biscuits. And conventions. Warsaw, not so much. Biscuit convention-loving, Warsaw-indifferent man, 46 WLTM F to 50 with biscuit baking/convention hosting talent who preferably doesn’t live in Warsaw.
Like a faithful hound I will fetch your slippers and newspaper in the morning and follow you for walks on beaches on brisk autumn mornings. Of course, if I bite a small child I will have to be injected with sodium pentobarbital and destroyed. But let’s just accentuate the positive for now. Slippers. Newspaper. Beaches. F, 32.
My dad helped me write this ad, just like he helped me with all my science projects and encouraged me to go to medical school. Thanks dad! Spoiled M, 54.
Here’s a truth pill: if there was a fight between me and all the other advertisers in this column there would be no fight because we are all friends. Good luck to you all in your quest for love! Apart from the advertiser above, who is my sworn enemy and whom I have pledged to kill. M, 38. Berks.
There are 289 species of octopus. I can, and will, name them all during the act of love. M, 58.
Many people carry scars from previous relationships. Not me: mine come from Chinese buffets. Clumsy, argumentative dim sum enthusiast (M, 45). Not good with children or animals. Or anything else that isn’t a fork.
I placed this advert simply to toot my own horn, but the LRB refuse to let me use the font ‘Impact’. As such I may not come across as bold and as dynamic as I originally intended, but let me assure you I am both bold and dynamic. (Perhaps readers could underline or highlight the words ‘bold’ and ‘dynamic’ themselves? Or else read this ad out loud and shout the words in a commanding voice, like that of classically-trained actor? Possibly Brian Blessed?) Bold and dynamic man (49). Hull.
In my bedroom, ‘tension’ is a word from the past. Although ‘dermatitis’ is very much of the moment. ‘Exfoliate’ is probably the choice for tomorrow. Allergy-suffering idiot (M, 40).
I have two great talents. One is writing superb adverts like this, the other is cage-free chicken farming. If either of those appeal, please write. F, 32. Shrops.
42 year old clinically depressed transvestite and father of two seeks jaded but intellectual supermodels to share misery , bills and alcoholic blackouts.Costume desired but not essential. I am hugely attractive and overwhelmingly charismatic.
Last night, I spent hours worrying over this club activity. I work one Saturday a month running a kind of English club from 8.40am to 10.30am. I have now discovered I get paid cash in hand, quite handsomely as well!
So after some helpful advice from friends after an impassioned plea over facebook - I settled on some Halloween games, music videos during the break and a costume design activity. They also appreciated the inclusion of candy as prizes I think. Anyway today I just felt great, it wasn't too planned (I kind of don't want to be a teacher teacher, if you get what I mean, especially on club activity days) and the students really went for it.
I guess today was exactly why I came out here. And I took pictures!
Some of the girls with their work. I love how they hide their faces, they're so shy :)
Some of the work done during the design a costume activity. I asked them to design a ghost, witch and ahjumma - the Korean word for old lady.
Me and the class with their work. Yet again with the work hiding their faces. I like to think they had fun, plus I got all their emails to send them the pictures.
The five boys, who venture into the girls school once a month for the club activity. They're more shy than the girls! Obviously it's the fear lol.
... Lee Min Ho. You get some eye candy to look at as well as soft drink. I do feel a bit dirty when I buy it though, like some kind of soft drink porn purchase is going down. Oh well... I get my thrills from sugary goodness.
